Void

Sara stevens
5 min readJan 4, 2020

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The last blog was about setting goals, today we want to look at the how to continue to change and make those changes permanent. To change anything in our lives, we need to not just let go of things, we have to fill the void it can leave in our lives, putting a new healthy thing in its place can be a win, win for you. If we don’t do things instead of what we have given up, we just end up with a void in our lives and this can only lead us to remember what was there before. This is not great for us, as our minds will just keep reflecting back to those things we have let go of, if we are not careful it can lead us back to those old bad habits, not because we want to, mainly because the habits of doing it just wins over our will power to change. Now it is time to work out how to fill the voids you have got after letting go of those bad habits, allowing you to make long term changes more easily. It’s like changing or giving something up for someone else instead of yourself, it’s not really going to work, so don’t try to fill the voids with something you don’t really want to do, as this is just not something you will be able to be sustain. Often if we choose something we don’t really want to do, it can often make us harp back to the past, this will then only pull us back to those old habits, pushing the old habits back into the forefront of our minds and if we’re not careful we end taking them back up again instead of giving in to them up.

It’s good to think about what you do want to do in your life, you might not fully know what this might be, but we often know what we don’t want to do. If this is the case for you then it’s worth starting in the backwards way of thinking and find your way from what you don’t want into what you do want. Get a pen and paper and write down as many things that you know you don’t want to do, after this try and look to see if there a theme, IE arty things, active, educational. Now look at the gaps that you haven’t written down, try and read between the lines writing down these ideas and look for possible things you might be interested in doing. Hopefully now you have a few ideas of things that you can try and this is a great start to filling those voids after making a big change in your life. It’s good to know that even just trying new things is helping that old habit become more distant from you. As it helps your mind be distracted from the past habits and start the process of looking forward to the new you. With the new ideas you have to fill the spaces in your life, these might not be right for you but that’s ok you can just keep trying new things and you will find the things you need to fill those voids.

Our old habits are only there because our mind is trying to help us out by automating the things, we do all the time. This part of our mind is amazing for us, as having to re learn to walk, talk, move or even eat every time we had to do these things would mean that we would never get anything done as we would be stuck just trying to do those basic things. It’s easy to take these abilities for granted, but now it is time to really see just how amazing our minds really are and find ways to help you make those long-term changes. There is no need to fight against our minds as this will often only lead to failure, as the unconscious part of our mind is 90% of us, it is not the controller, we are, but it’s the size of it and the power our unconscious minds have can trip us up when making changes. Knowing this and getting our mind on our side is the key to changing, if we are feeling a bit of a void in our lives after giving something up it is time to find those new things to fill the gap. If we have no space for those old habits to keep popping up in our minds to remind us of what we used to do then reaching those goals for long term change will be so much easier to achieve. Remember the longer we have had a habit, the stronger the mental pathways in our minds will be, so don’t be upset if your mind keeps drawing you back to these. This won’t help you it will just make you feel frustrated over the thoughts and this can often be seen as what our life is like without the things we having given up. But remember this is not really true this is just the pressure of having to push away the habits your mind sends you to do things. Always remember your mind is not trying to sabotage you it is always trying to help; it doesn’t know you want to let that bad habit go or even that its bad. This is where you have to get back to looking at the voids and gaps in your life, as these are the main reasons you will be struggling to change. It’s time to fill the voids and push those old habits away from your mind and help you be the best version of yourself. Also remember that this may also open you up to a whole new side of your life, a new hobby that can transform your life, make you smile more and be happier.

Life is all about experiences and living in the now is the key to being the happiest, best version of ourselves.

Thanks for dropping Sara x

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